Most young people who are jailed wound up in trouble with
the law because they failed to make a decision.
They just went along with the decisions others made—others
who made decisions to rob filling stations or beat up on that person they
thought dised them. Not sure if that statistic still applies, since it was
quoted in the ‘70s, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
One of the things I did in my checkered educational career
was tape textbooks for blind students at the local community college, and it
came from a social work text that belonged to a young man who was planning to
counsel prisoners.
That text and this week’s prompt, added to a comment Hubby
made on the way home from Panera (my favorite place for breakfast) on Monday, made me think about
decision-making. It’s one of the most fundamental acts we have to learn to
do—and do well—before we enter the adult world, yet nowhere are we taught how
to do it. Possibly for that reason, many of the people I know whose lives are less
than satisfactory have made a series of perhaps not bad, but not really good,
decisions. I remember reading a magazine article once when I was a teen that
suggested making a list of the good things and another of the bad things about
any particular action we were considering. It helped, but it wasn’t enough. For
one thing, it didn’t take into consideration others who would be affected by
the decision.
The particular book I taped used a decision-making paradigm
that consisted of concentric circles. In the “bull’s-eye” was the decision
maker, the person who would be most affected by the result.
In the next circle, the decision makers put the names of
those who would experience secondary effects from their decision: wives,
children, parents…. In the third
circle went the names of those who would suffer tertiary effects: close
friends, co-workers… .THEN they made their columns, a pro column and a con
column for each person.
No longer can you come to a decision because it makes you
feel good. Now you have to think about all those who might suffer—or
benefit—from your actions, and in what ways they might suffer or benefit. You
might even be inspired to talk to them about it.
I think this paradigm is a much better approach to
decision-making than any other I’m acquainted with, even though that’s all I
can remember about it. It’s relatively simple, but forces the decision-makers
to realize their actions have a ripple effect on their world and what those
effects might be—unlike the old two-column method.
Do schools now teach decision-making? What kind of paradigm
do they use?
I've read that our decision-making skills don't fully develop until we are in our 20s. The part of the teenage brain that makes decisions is not fully matured. But I do love this paradigm.
ReplyDeleteI hope teens develop at least a few good skills. They certainly have some big decisions to make. Maybe if they something about how to make decisions when they're teens, they'll remember it when they get old enough to actually use it.
DeleteIt’s relatively simple, but forces the decision-makers to realize their actions have a ripple effect on their world and what those effects might be.....I love this line. So true, what all parents should teach.
ReplyDeleteAnd reading that, I have to wonder, "Did I use the right word?" Still have trouble with effect/affect. Let's see, effect is a noun most of the time, and affect is a verb, right? : - )
DeleteThis bull's eye sounds like a wonderful approach to decision making. I wish Adam had used one, not that it would have made a difference in his beyond crazy state. Some people fail to make decisions by following bad decisions of others, but what about the ring leaders? I once knew a prison dentist who found many repeat customers. They'd commit petty crimes because it was time to get their nasty mouths cleaned, and they had no money to visit a dentist or doctor. Sad situation.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2012/12/gbe2-decisions.html
I heard of this before. I've been told that one of the reasons they do this is that MedicAid won't pay for dental care. Children on MedicAid have to be sick enough to go to the emergency room before they can get dental care, and then the tooth usually has to be pulled. I really think this is a terrible indictment against our country.
DeleteThis has always been true, but it seems invisible to us, that impact on others. A good teaching tool.
ReplyDeleteI think that no matter the age, we all have trouble making decisions at one point or another. I like this paradigm because it really looks at all angles when having to make a really big decision. Sometimes we have to look at the bigger picture to evaluate if our choices are the right ones.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I liked about it, Susan. I think one of the problems we have in this country--probably in the world--is that so few people consider how their actions affect others. And we really need another paradigm that considers the consequences of our actions for ourselves and others over time, because we tend not to look very far into the future when we make decisions.
ReplyDeleteI began teaching my kids how to consider consequences of their decisions at a very young age. I believe people who say they don't have decision making mechanisms in their teens are missing the fact that one can be taught to do things they are not necessarily ready to do. The skills can be learned and with guidance and supervision, decisions can become part of anyone's everyday life.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of paradigm, it makes sense and it also gives a place to SEE what you are deciding.